Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Living La Vida Sola

Warning: This blog will most likely expose the reason you are single. It’s not the “fault” of the opposite sex; it’s because of you. Read with openness and a willingness to see the beauty in all situations. You may proceed.

Living La Vida Sola

Steve Harvey wrote a book about it. ABC did a televised town hall forum about it (featuring Steve Harvey of course). Thousands have sung about it and millions have cried about it. It has become a statistic and more thought about than the coming of 2012. Yet with all of this discussion on the subject there hasn’t seemed to be an antidote… maybe because the antidote requires real self-examination. If that’s the case no book, forum or song can prevent you from being single until you help yourself.

Hey people, don’t get frustrated with me, I’m single too, however I enjoy it. Don’t get me wrong, the days…and especially the nights (just being real) get LLLonely sometimes (in my Lenny Williams begging voice) but this period too, will pass. As with everything in my life, I choose to utilize my down time with a little self-examination. I did it when I got laid off, I did it when I got slammed by a drunk driver, so why not check out myself when I’m single? I’ve long come to the conclusion that all the men I’ve dated didn’t get together for a clandestine meeting to figure out how to make my love life miserable. Somewhere in the midst of my break ups, Ms. Sahsha J. Campbell has a role to play in it. I look back at my past relationships as a review of sorts. Not just what Mr.______ did to upset me, but what I did to disturb him as well, not only what I did to make him happy, but I look at the things he did to make me smile and keep that in my memory bank. All this is in an effort to improve myself and my next encounter with Mr.Right-in-due-time… besides, everything we go through is to elevate us to the next level, right?

Maybe I’m comfortable in being single now because I don’t feel the pressures of society to be married with child and living in a white picket-fenced house by the age of 30 (or 35 or 40 for that matter). Who says that’s the standard I should live by? Define the terms of your relationship with your next partner. Are you uncomfortable being single because of your age? Maybe it’s because all your friends are getting hitched? Is your family applying pressure? Are you uncomfortable being single because having someone will negate you from facing those ways about yourself that you KNOW needs to be changed? OOOHHH WEEEE! That bites, huh? Well, the sooner you face you, the more equipped you’ll be to attract that person you dream of. You can only get a butterfly if you’re a butterfly.

Until then, I’m sure you can find TONS to do to stay occupied. Rediscover a passion, do some charity work, hit the gym or the yoga mat, plant a tree, write a book, travel… just live damnit! Living will lead you to Love. Be confident in the fact that you weren’t born to be without companionship, so a love supreme is out there for you, guaranteed! Trust the process of singledom (yeah, that’s a new word courtesy of the ever curious mind of SahshaJay). Fill your space with love and love is sure to find you. In the meantime people, don’t force a one-night stand (I’m just saying) or someone you’ve been on two dates with to be “the one” simply because he or she is around (the dubious space filler). Don’t settle! If you do that, you’re just giving Steve Harvey, ABC and countless others more reason to do a part two of something that’s just a part of life.

Amor,Vida, y Paz, (love, life, and peace)


Dr. of Love, Shawn said...

I once heard a woman say, in response to a comment made about her single status, "I'm not single. Jesus is my man." You think that works for guys as well? 'I'm not single. Jesus is my...' Nah, that's wierd, and probably blasphemous too. I should probably say a few hail Mary's and a couple our fathers for even entertaining such a twisted thought. Oh who am I kidding...being single is just the least of my problems. With a warped mind like mine, who could love me??? Pray for Mojo :0(

Anonymous said...

I believe that been single has little to do with you’re past, but everything to do with your immediate present (and I stress on the immediate).

Dwell on this….The fastest, shortest, easiest way to get to Love, Happiness, Success, etc.
Is “making sure that every step you take is pointed in that direction”.

You don’t have to be a butterfly to catch a butterfly! You could be a sunflower, a fruit or the nose of an innocent child, and given the right chance the butterfly will land.

Society…..It doesn’t pressure us, it drives us where ever we let it. If a trend of society is not accepted that’s the end of it. But if we as people accepted/embrace it, it becomes our standard of life.

Singles are the most susceptible to society trends.
Truth be told the best antidote to society is “The Family unit” for all the decisions we make in our lives are rooted on a family structure. We can find tens of tons of relation ship partners, break up, mingle, date, booty call etc. through out our lives but what is thought home remains for a life time. Now with that I must say that Mothers are the fundamental, most important key in society. Thus they must be treated as Queens, princess, and gold if I may say. Because what a mother teaches to her daughters and son’s shapes there life, and the lives of all those around them.

Now not all women where meant to be mothers and of course not all men are meant to be fathers. So if you are single maybe parenting is not what’s driving you but you are still part of a family!

For last, being single is not a blessing, but it’s definitely not a curse! Is a state.
Like a gourmet dish your single state could be salty, spicy, bitter, sweet or bland. You decide in which direction your steps are pointing.

… me culpe a mi, es culpa de la música!!!!

Isnt life grand when your layin in the sand!!

Isnt life grand when your layin in the sand!!