Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Living La Vida Sola

Warning: This blog will most likely expose the reason you are single. It’s not the “fault” of the opposite sex; it’s because of you. Read with openness and a willingness to see the beauty in all situations. You may proceed.

Living La Vida Sola

Steve Harvey wrote a book about it. ABC did a televised town hall forum about it (featuring Steve Harvey of course). Thousands have sung about it and millions have cried about it. It has become a statistic and more thought about than the coming of 2012. Yet with all of this discussion on the subject there hasn’t seemed to be an antidote… maybe because the antidote requires real self-examination. If that’s the case no book, forum or song can prevent you from being single until you help yourself.

Hey people, don’t get frustrated with me, I’m single too, however I enjoy it. Don’t get me wrong, the days…and especially the nights (just being real) get LLLonely sometimes (in my Lenny Williams begging voice) but this period too, will pass. As with everything in my life, I choose to utilize my down time with a little self-examination. I did it when I got laid off, I did it when I got slammed by a drunk driver, so why not check out myself when I’m single? I’ve long come to the conclusion that all the men I’ve dated didn’t get together for a clandestine meeting to figure out how to make my love life miserable. Somewhere in the midst of my break ups, Ms. Sahsha J. Campbell has a role to play in it. I look back at my past relationships as a review of sorts. Not just what Mr.______ did to upset me, but what I did to disturb him as well, not only what I did to make him happy, but I look at the things he did to make me smile and keep that in my memory bank. All this is in an effort to improve myself and my next encounter with Mr.Right-in-due-time… besides, everything we go through is to elevate us to the next level, right?

Maybe I’m comfortable in being single now because I don’t feel the pressures of society to be married with child and living in a white picket-fenced house by the age of 30 (or 35 or 40 for that matter). Who says that’s the standard I should live by? Define the terms of your relationship with your next partner. Are you uncomfortable being single because of your age? Maybe it’s because all your friends are getting hitched? Is your family applying pressure? Are you uncomfortable being single because having someone will negate you from facing those ways about yourself that you KNOW needs to be changed? OOOHHH WEEEE! That bites, huh? Well, the sooner you face you, the more equipped you’ll be to attract that person you dream of. You can only get a butterfly if you’re a butterfly.

Until then, I’m sure you can find TONS to do to stay occupied. Rediscover a passion, do some charity work, hit the gym or the yoga mat, plant a tree, write a book, travel… just live damnit! Living will lead you to Love. Be confident in the fact that you weren’t born to be without companionship, so a love supreme is out there for you, guaranteed! Trust the process of singledom (yeah, that’s a new word courtesy of the ever curious mind of SahshaJay). Fill your space with love and love is sure to find you. In the meantime people, don’t force a one-night stand (I’m just saying) or someone you’ve been on two dates with to be “the one” simply because he or she is around (the dubious space filler). Don’t settle! If you do that, you’re just giving Steve Harvey, ABC and countless others more reason to do a part two of something that’s just a part of life.

Amor,Vida, y Paz, (love, life, and peace)

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

This is a test!

Remember growing up watching TV… you’re all comfy in your space on the couch, popcorn or Doritos in hand, head damn near buried in the tube because you were finally going to find out why ET wanted to phone home and you’re interrupted, rudely I might add, by a god awful buzzing noise and a voice that sounds like a man talking into a plastic cup saying, “ This is a test of the Emergency Broadcast System…” WHAT??? “You really got to run a test now?” Say it isn’t so!

We only get frustrated when the test comes right at the “good part”. If nothings’ going on, who would care if there’s a test? Who would pay attention? The more we grow as individuals, the more responsibility we are able and willing to handle, right? So we will be tested to make sure we are as ready as we think we are!

Every time after I’ve read something profound, listened to a lecture that resonated my spirit, or went through some experience that has the potential to “upgrade” me, I feel on top of the world! Sahsha has automatically become the most intelligent, even-tempered cat you’ll ever come across! Throw anything at me and I’ll catch it blindfolded! Just in the midst of my celebration, my phone rings and the mechanic says, “ we found something else wrong with your car and it will cost an additional $300.00 to fix it…” What kind of #%!@ is that?? Why does that have to happen to me? What happened to my even temper? After a brief pause of thought, I realized the discomfort I’m putting myself through doesn’t feel as good as my celebration. The car isn’t causing me discomfort I am because…well…I shouldn’t have to deal with that news about my car! (Man, we are some funny people). I over-stand that I am being tested on the lesson I just learned about being calm. After a slight outburst, I think to myself that it would be much better to get “it” fixed now. I have the money, the car is already there and heaven forbid it break down on me while I’m out on a hot summer’s day…I’m liable to invent new curse words and get demoted to the first grade if that happens…so fix it I do. Wow, what a difference a calm minute, and a reflection of what I just learned has made in my day…and life.

So there is one of the many tests this life will bring. No need to go through the lesson only to fail the test by choice. Something’s are unavoidable, but the way you handle it is clearly up to you. Brace yourself for the humility that comes with growing. It’s here to serve you. Until next time, be easy and stay alert!

Con mucho, mucho amor,

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Don't Dis-apoint me!

Although not outright, a dear friend of mine expressed disappointment in someone’s decision not to come out about something 100%. We get disappointed in people all the time, to the point of utter disgust. I asked my mother, “Why do you think people get disappointed in one another?” She said, “ because of YOUR expectations. We expect people to be or react a certain way and when they don’t, we become disappointed.” And that’s when it hit me; disappointments we have in other people have NOTHING to do with who they really are. It’s based on how we want them to be. The word itself is comprised of two words. “Dis” meaning “apart”, “asunder” or “away” and “appoint” meaning “to name or assign a position”. So in essence, when we become disappointed, we’re assigning a position away from the indented recipient: ourselves.

It’s a lot easier to point the finger in the opposite direction when it comes to things someone should or shouldn’t do. But closely look at your disappointments in others. Does it have anything to do with what you’re not doing with yourself?
We all have a charge on our lives, a destiny agreed on before most of us can remember. We will come face to face with the realization of our destiny (whether we act on it or not). Despite the things we occupy ourselves with in our days’ existence, there are things we should allow ourselves to do that would serve us better than the mundane. Well…are you doing it? If you say you don’t know what you’re supposed to do, isn’t it your responsibility to seek out that which you were created to do? Are you taking daily steps in improving your existence? So, your living the love below…isn’t the SAME reason your dis-apointed in another?

Looky here people, I’m just trying to save you all from the drama and…well, disappointment you might feel when someone does something you think they shouldn’t have. We all have a different path to walk on our individual journeys that will lead us to the same place (if you hop on the path, that is). There is no telling what another mans’ walk will look like…they’ve never walked it before. Their misstep or disappointment you take as personal might be just the step they need to make to meet you on the end of the yellow brick road. Most of the time, what you expect of another soul is exactly what you should be doing for self. So in the meantime, discover your path and take the first step. Spread love and over-standing along the way. Appoint yourself the freedom and courage to step out so you’re not dis-apointed when someone else doesn’t. See you in Oz.

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Caught up in The Rapture

Is it just me, or does each and every one of us know a person who’s going through MAJOR life changes? Not necessarily tragic in nature, but folks are experiencing a shift in all things they thought were “normal”, all beliefs they perceived as true, and every “don’t’” they said they’d never “do”? Yeah, me too. Some call it growth. Others refer to it as a life crisis or a transition. I’ll call it the rapture. (you got to love the fact that we have the freedom to reference an online dictionary as a source) defines rapture in one way as “the carrying of a person to another place or sphere of existence”. Perhaps we are all being forced to move from the place of old, to a place of new? Time is going faster, but we are resistant to move with the times, choosing, however, to be stuck in a place of yesterday. We love to relive the past, as if holding on to it will make us more prepared for the future. But let nature be your biggest example. Nothing stays the same. Cycles are inevitable and resistance is unheard of. A storm might come and cause what appears to be severe damage, yet after the storm, is a calm, and things in time are rebuilt better than they were before. Change, most often is a good thing, but the process isn’t always pretty.

Do not hold yourself hostage in your “old” ways that no longer serve its purpose in a “new” you. I, for example, used to be a strong supporter of the Death Penalty. But what I come to realize is that taking the life of another, despite his or her offense, is in no way justice. It’s not natural reciprocity and it certainly doesn’t bring back the life of the one taken. Divine justice handles us all. Even in death, there is a lesson for us to learn and that’s our purpose: To evolve and mentally mature through life experiences, even those that seem to be “bad”, to rise to a higher plateau. The renewed you might not sit well with others, and that’s certainly OK. It’s not a pop contest. It’s the Rapture.

So all those “rules” that you set for self are indeed being reexamined. Take a close look at everything you thought was “right” or “wrong” and see its root. Was it rooted in fear? Did it come from years of indoctrination? Is it causing an internal chaos? If the answer is “Yes”, it’s time to wipe the slate “clean” and start rewriting your life with divine guidance. Let your inner force be your guide. No more blaming others for your choices. No more worrying about tomorrow all the while forgetting to live today. Instances that we try to make eternal, most often were meant only to be a temporary role in our life’s journey, yet we hold on to it so tight… No more resistance! Pull up your britches and prepare to be renewed! The winds of the rapture are swift and strong so don’t get caught with your pants down! Choose to redefine yourself, besides there only one you.

Isnt life grand when your layin in the sand!!

Isnt life grand when your layin in the sand!!