Ten Things I've realized in 2008

Its the end of what we know as a year, and I figure i keep it simple, as thing #11 i've learned(learning) is how to keep things chill...

Number One:
People are only to you what they show themselves to be;nothing more.

Number Two:
Change is necessary for growth. If you're not changing, you're not growing. STEP YA GAME UP!!

Number Three:
Believing in your prayer manifests what your praying for;doubt cancels your prayer.

Number Four:
Physical death is mandatory;what you do with your life is optional. Choose wisely. Dream big.

Number Five:
I'm pretty damn funny! (aha)

Number Six:
I'm ready for love (for real, y'all!)

Number Seven:
DO NOT SETTLE...IN ANYTHING!

Number Eight:
Good R&B music is making a comeback! (thank God: if I bought one more CD from decades gone by, my christmas wishlist would have included a time machine! Beam me up,Scotty!!)

Number Nine:
Men have a hard time understanding the fact that i'm 31 years old, in possession of inner and outer beauty, and single. The question ALWAYS arises, " WHY ARE YOU SINGLE?" When i get married, the question will then be, "DAMN, WHY ARE'NT YOU SINGLE?" Irony at its' finest...

Number Ten:
Communication is the key ingredient to any sucessful relationship, whether it be personal or business. If you want something, say it! If you want OUT of something, SCREAM IT! If you need soemthing,demand it! If you need me, whisper in my ear...but only once, I cannot stand repetition!! (I am truly an organized mess!)

Merry Christmas
Happy Kwanzaa
Happy Hanukkah
(If I missed any other celebratory ritual, please forgive me...but make it merry and happy and don't forget the real reason for the season!)

Yours Truly...

SahshaJay

Harvest for the World

I must admit, I'm "sappier" than most. I often shed a tear or two during an emotional climax of a movie, at weddings(especially when the groom cries....that's love) or even when I hear a song that touches my spirit. So it should come as no surprise that when I hear of death, especially of the young and gifted, my soul weeps, my mind questions, and my heart aches.

In the past two weeks, I have been bothered by the news of the deaths of a Mr. Federico Borjas, a full time San Diego police officer, a single father and a reservist, who was killed while serving in Afghanistan, and by Darnell Donerson, Jason Hudson, and Julian King, the mother, brother, and nephew of Oscar winning actress and singer Jennifer Hudson. Lives taken away for what appears to be no justifiable reason at all. Lives that i'm sure, had a lot more living in them. My seemingly endless plea for all of you to "go hard" in this life, Meaning, do everything with a zest and vigor that is unmatched by yesterday...will that plea fall on deaf ears? I pray not.


A couple of months ago, I wrote a blog, encouraging us to live life to the fullest, to make each moment count and take steps to pave a better way for the next generation. Have any of you all taken heed? The fact that I have to write THIS blog, once life is lost, is a confirmation of sorts, that this moment right here, is the only one we have. What we choose to birth in the now, is solely up to you.

We are in the midst of a huge paradigm shift for our nation and world. In less than one week, we will have a new "head" of state, who with time, will implement a series of laws and set a new foundation for us to grow as a collective union.(Yes, i'm saying that Barack Obama has won the election and will be sworn in January 9th, 2009)
Yet and still, no man is a nation unto himself. What will_________(fill in the blank with your name)do to institute change? What seeds will you plant that'll bring a harvest for the world?

I dedicate this blog to the lives of Federico Borjas, Darnell Donerson, Jason Hudson,and Julian King. I dedicate this to the friend of my boy Stevie, who died a couple days ago from a brain tumor at the age of thirty. Do you know anyone gone too soon? Add their name(s) to the list. As death in this lifetime becomes them, let life also be reborn in you.

Live Full.
Love Fearlessly.
Laugh Hard.
Party Harder.
Pray Often.
Forgive Daily.
Reach Higher.

To see or learn more about the fallen soldier, His family has set up a webpage. www.federicoborjas.com

I do my best to write a blog once a month, and boy, am I pushing it...

This fact has always fascinated me, even as a "youth": God could have made the entire world in a day. Instead, time and patience was taken into consideration, interweaving each living organism to one another to create...life. I can imagine the mind of God, the thoughts of the Most High, as It contemplated the details of each person, plant, and animal. What a shame it would have been if God was in a rush making you and I, inadvertently leaving off a leg, or giving me three arms instead of two, simply because He was in a hurry to get to the next creation!

(OK. that is a funny visual...stop imagining me with three arms!)

So riddle me this: WHY DO PEOPLE RUSH TO GET INVOLVED WITH ONE ANOTHER??? Why don't we take the time to find out what purpose each person serves in our life before we make them a main dish? And why, oh why, do we blame ourselves, if we meet someone who's purpose is just temporary, if it doesnt work out longterm? Look, people(especially ladies)Patience,understanding, and purpose was taken in the very fabrication of you and I,not a detail overlooked, not a trait left unexamined. Shouldn't we take the same amount of care in choosing who we let into our lives and determining their relevence in our space? If you are in a relationship(friendship or otherwise)right now, ask yourself these, or similar questions:

1)What have they deposited into my life?
2)What separates them from my previous relationship(s)?
3)Can their presence in my life elevate me and am I elevating them to levels neither of us have been to?
4)IS THERE MORE PAIN THAN PLEASURE? MORE DISCOMFORT THAN DELIGHT?

Depending on how you answer these questions, do what you have to do to elevate or eliminate these people from you space, or at bear minimum, keep them at arms length!("I'll love you from afar" comes to mind with some people)

Trust your spirit(most of the time, we know folks are just taking up space in our life, distracting us, "filling a void" so to speak)and know that there is NO NEED to make he/she "the one" only because you all have ten things in common and happen to have the same initials!(I swear, we make all sorts of justifications) Take the time to learn yourself to know where you're going and if he/she is fit enough for the journey! You will save much energy and emotional distress. The person you're attempting to make your soulmate could simply be a soul lesson and the one you disregarded as simply "the homie" can be your angel in disguise!

Come along with me, on this adventure called LIFE and I promise, we will make it together. Just give it a little TIME!

Lata Gatas!!

SahshaJay

Thank you for being a friend!

A friend



In the deep seas of my mind, I thought about, and reeled in the finest of treasures, ones, like most rare treasures, that lay there all along, waiting to be discovered; waiting for its worth to be weighed; waiting for me to bring them to the surface for all others to see their value...These rare, precious treasures are my true friends...


Dictonary.com defines friends as a person who gives assistance; patron; supporter. I define this people by name: When I call your name, please stand up and be recognized:

(In alphabetical order, certainly not in order of preference, for they are all preferred :)

Aisha Lastar Hollins

Christopher Lavon Jones, Jr

Frederick Ross, Jr

Kiana Nyree Welsh

Shelli Tinae Price

What a disgrace it would be if these treasures stayed buried, for the world not to witness their glory! Oh, what a gift they have been to me over the thirteen to twenty-seven years they have been in my life! Each one of them, created equally, but serving a slightly different purpose than the next…I truly cannot imagine how I would maintain my sanity in this crazy world without them!

God is constantly and faithfully great to me and I’m often reminded of His greatness and love for me when I look at my friends. Angels that have occupied earth to comfort and care for me, laugh with me and lend a shoulder to cry on. Friends who, when I’m my toughest critic, reflect the greatness in me. A mirror has never looked so clear…

I pray that in everyone’s lifetime, they are as privileged as me to encounter such seraphim, pieces of heaven on earth, which, along with God, lead you to the light at the end of the sometimes unclear, unpaved tunnel.

I can run on longer than Slauson Avenue in Los Angeles or El Cajon Boulevard in San Diego (two seemingly never ending streets in southern California, for those unfamiliar with the wonderful West Coast!) about the greatness of these people, and those attached to them: Parents, wives, fiancées, children, etc. I can talk until I’m blue in the face, purple in the lips and red in the cheeks about how much my life has benefited from their luminous presence…but I recede for now.

In closing, thank you, Furious Five, for being constant. Thank you, California’s finest, for opening your hearts to me and my family. In the best of times and the times when you’ve all felt like dismissing me as a friend (yes, you’ve had the thought at least once, ha-ha), yet stuck by me like irresponsible people to their excuses, or, more positively, like Jesus sticks by the truth, I thank you with these words. A small measure, yes, but a true measure indeed. Now that you all are reaching for your Kleenex, here’s to you, my dear friends:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DmgL9l6VSjo
(cut and paste link to view)

Peace, love, and many thanks,


SahshaJay

Insomnia's a girl's best friend

The 11th commandment: "thou shall not go eight weeks without posting a blog..."

Thank God for pardon and grace:)

...and like the most of us, I will stumble, possibly letting another eight weeks or so pass without another entry. I aplogize in advance.

Pushing forward, as time does, I get the most powerful unction from the spirit to write at the most "inappropriate" times...I have to be up in a couple of hours...but when the feeling is this real, I got to go with the flow.

FREEDOM'S FREESTYLE(I'm in the cipher)


Insomnia is a friend of mine. She approaches me with purpose and intent.

Insomnia is when The Most High communicates with me, my attention is shared by no other.

Insomnia and I take magical rides through the inner depths of me, bringing back tresures that would otherwise go undiscovered.

Insomnia doesn't need a drug to tame it, on the contrary, Insomnia is the drug, we fly high...

But as with anything, too much of it can leave you in a daze, walking through the day in a haze...Thank God for Insomnia's consciousness, only calling on me when necessary.

Insomnia has made me a bigger, stronger, more beautiful lady: Its' adventures in paradise always leave me with one to grow on...a beautiful mix of destiny and pleasure.


Insomnia told me to tell you that it's alright to be who you are when you're with her: The things that keep you up at night are meant to keep you awake in this life...

Insomnia will come visit you soon. Make sure to wake up.



Until next time, don't sleep too tight.

Paz y Amor,

SahshaJay

Live It Up!

Hey guys(and gals...please don't get politically correct, I often don't:)

As the lovely, lovely month of May is coming to an end, along with spring, I find it unexcusable not to write, in closing.

A lingering thought has been on the brain like George Bush's trigger finger to the war in Iraq, the plummeting economy and the non existant health care system in the Un-united states...What if this was your last moment on this earth, in a physical body??

I can hear you now..."Sahsha, what kind of mess of a thought is that??" I can't call it, but it isn't meant to stir up a sense of morbidity, or gloom. It's more so a mental stretch...an excercise if you will, that will prayerfully help us use the remainding 90 percent of the brain that lies dormant.

"If I should die before I wake, I pray the Lord my soul to take..."


If that be the case, how would our loved ones reflect on the lives we have lived? More so, how would you describe the time you had on earth? Did you use your time wisely, effectively? Did our actions positively influence others? Did we accomplish what we were brought here to accomplish? Do we even know what that is??

Have we treated ourselves like we have the life and light of God living within? Lets make sure at the end of the day, and each day, we live it like there is no tomorrow. In essence, there isn't. All that there is, is NOW! (Disclaimer: this commentary IS NOT an excuse to live like you have no good sense. Remember, your body is a vessel for God to manifest his presence on earth...Back to your regularly scheduled program)

So as you rise with the morning sun, give thanks for another day granted to you. Why not use it for something new! Make a small step to change something that brings you closer to your destiny. In the meatime, your step will encourage others to take steps, too. As you continue along your daily walk, make sure your smiles outweigh your frowns, your laughs topple your tears, and your words comfort fears. Always listen to the quiet voice within...its God ordering steps:)and make every moment count!Don't exist counting the moments. Begin planning for that "thing" you ALWAYS wanted to do, do not allow anyone to hurt you in the name of love, and love so much that hurt is a memory.

In closing, i saw this while driving today and it moved me:

"Existing is mandatory. Living is optional"

Peace, Love, and Happy Travels,

SahshaJay

ESCAPISM

Its often a perfect saturday night when i'm just sitting at home. The little guys are sleep, and i am left awake, with a little bit of idle time. Typically, i'd fall asleep with intentions of reading the bible, writing a poem, or delving into the deeper realms of self, in search of self. But not this evening. I'm awake(praise God)and in the mood to escape.

Not so long ago, my mode of escape would be to go out. it's an especially nice, warm, tropical evening in the city of new beginnings. What a perfect evening to be out...circumstances, both physically and spiritual have allowed me to seek refuge in a place of stillness. a place call home. destination me. Surprisingly, i like it. i really like it.

As i write the memo of early sunday morning, i have Bill Withers playing in the background. I am a true music lover and he is one of my favorites. He asked me if "we can pretend" that there is no yesterday. "Sure!", i replied. God makes no memory of our past mishaps, so why should I? "Paint a picture of tomorrow with no colors of today." For me, that means no grey skies. Just bright horizons. So I choose yellows, reds, and oranges...lively colors, arent they? Yes, my today is as bright as a comet awakening the nights sky. My present is that pinkish tone that comes as the sun sets into the infinite ocean. What an escape!

In such a bold color scheme, i have come to realize and accept that i am not so much the same girl i used to be. The art that is evolving on this canvas called life is a woman who is subtle and simple. Not so complex. Not needing much, but a slient night, fresh water to drink, and some good music.

I live in an escape that does not require looking back. I have broken loose from the chains of yesterday...YIPPEE! A life of more introspection than retrospection. Jubilation instead of contemplation. Spiritual intoxication over physical indulgence and alcoholic consumption. What an escape! Who would have known, who really cares?? All i do know is that i like where I am and I anticipate where I'm going to escape to next.

Thank you all for taking the time to listen to what some might call a rambling of thoughts. I pray at least one would see is as an open door to a personal escape.

Good night and happy travels,

SahshaJay

WHO ARE YOU?

Blessings to you all this fine morning.

I hope you all intend to let the rain that is falling wash away all thoughts of who you believe yourself to be!

Who are you?

This simple three word question was posed to the crowd of people at a Single's conference I attended last night. Nine profound letters that stuck in my mind throughout the evening...

How many of us are living a life based in the "psuedo" you? Most of us unsuspecting souls have been walking around wearing who we think we are as a badge of honor. Would you say you are a sum total of your experiences, a product of your environment, a perfectly divided half of Mother and Father or something much more?

The world is changing, and so should we. In order for the world to reach its full potential, the people in the world have to live their life with a clear understanding of themselves so our planet and future generations can assume THEIR proper position.

In Jeremaiah 1:5 God states that "I knew you before I formed you in your mother's womb..." with that being said, there is a divine calling for you...right here, right now! The universe needs you to "do you" in order for us all to live in harmony....Yes, my friends, we need each other to "BE"who we are, which ( i can almost guarantee) is a far greater thing than what we are in our present state.

Love will only be achieved in knowledge of self. Yes, true love stems from true authority. True authority comes from accepting self, not accepting your experiences as SELF.

Take the time to peel off the layers of who you think you are.Stop doing jobs others think your great at, and enter into the journey of self discovery. No one can do it for you, and no one else can substitute for the longing you have for "you".

The world at large needs each and every one of us! YOU are significant to the world. Realize self, realize your significance. All the money in the world cannot buy the peace and contentment that come with the overstanding and acceptance of You.

Thirty minutes ago in prayer I asked God this question. Less than one minute later, the spirit replied" I am the one who intends on breaking the chains of normalcy." Wow, i said, "that was quick!" When you knock, the doors are waiting to be opened.

I ask one favor of you all. Please take the time after you read this to ask with sincerity WHO YOU ARE. Once you get the answer, delve into taking of the layers of who you are NOT. It is then that we can all enjoy LIFE as it was intended to be.

CHOOSE LIFE!

Con Mucho Paz(with a lotta peace)

SahshaJay
Labels: a thought..

Happy Groundhog's Day!

"...I will also give you for a light to the nations, that My salvation may extend to the end of the earth." Isaiah 49:6

When a groundhog emerges from underground in the midst of winter's hibernation and sees its shadow, it burrows back under with fright, thus extending winter for another six weeks.

If a groundhog appears from below and sees no shadow(a cloudy day, the absence of bright sunlight), it will emerge, indicating winter will end early.

History shows that the vast majority of times a groundhog extends winter(96 times seeing a shadow, 14 times not, over a 120 year period of tracking the groundhogs' "predictions")...all because it's afraid of its own shadow! Crazy, right?? But all to familiar.

What does this mean, you say? What does it say about myself? I was born 31 years ago on Groundhog's day...

In order to see a shadow, you MUST have a radiant light shown upon you. I must admit, prior to 6 months ago, the bright light that reigned on me, or shall I say, in me, has been quite intimidating. I too, like the groundhog, have hidden from the potential greatness and responsibility my bright light brings.

How much longer will I continue to burrow underground to make myself and others feel comfortable? How much longer will I continue to dim my divine light and accept "six more weeks of winter"? Not only for myself, but for the entire Universe?

I know. Hibernation is a place of warmth and familiarity. Everything is where YOU put it. Growth is stagnant. But, hey...you already KNOW that! Vanessa Williams urged you, almost twenty years ago, in her song, "Comfort Zone" to get in that land of familiar and chill. "...Just turn the lights down low and ALL the rest you know..." Boy, did she say a mouthful. NO light zone!!

There is great things in me that will benefit humankind. It will not make manifest if I continue to bury myself where light cannot come to the surface. I will not continue to be afraid of the shadow...it is there whether I hide or not. I might as well live life to the highest and let it shine...for all to see and bear witness.

My revelaton has been deposited in my spirit for such a time as these. I challenge all my brothers and sisters of the human race with the life giving spirit in them to get up out of that familiar place and move into that place where the light continually shines! Emerge from the insanity of repetition! Best case scenario: Your life will be a light for yourself and the world beyond. Worse case scenario: NOTHING! And that is a scary thought.

Much Peace and Many Blessings,

SahshaJay

Build Vision-Exercise your Choice

I sat in awe of the fact that the company I work for does not observe the Martin Luther King
holiday. "WOW", I thought. "...am I living in Atlanta of Arizona?" (as you know, Arizona was the only state in the "union" that didnt observe the Martin Luther King holiday)

"we were concieved free, labored, and born into a world as 'slaves'. Slavery truly has no color. reclaim your freedom by exercising choice."

That was the daily deposit on my spirit.

I, we for that matter, would not be here, in the deep south, able to work, drive and live as we please if Martin Luther King didn't exercise his freedom to CHOOSE.

He was born into a world that called him unfavorable. Clearly if he and I were created by the same Divine force, the great, "I AM", that invisioned and spoke us into existence, we most certainly are favored. Yet, born into a world of have's and have not's, do's and don'ts(which some 'get away' with doing certain don't's...that, dear heart, is a whole other blog), we are to exist and pursue happiness. "HUH??" "How do we possibly do that, in a world of limits?" When you ask yourself that question is when the journey begins.

"GIVE ME FREEDOM OR GIVE ME DEATH"

CHOOSE to go deeper than what you see in front of you. What most of us are currently living is the sum total of what others have created in their minds eye.

CHOOSE to follow the spirit of love to a place of inner creativity that dwells in us all. That,my friend, is where freedom lives.

Hold on to that vision. It will make manifest, if you believe it to be so. CHOOSE to believe. Let's face it. We have NO ONE to blame for the current state of our existance(yes, me, too). We must challenge ourselves to elevate our thoughts beyond our current situation. We are not living life if we are not living what we dream.

Martin turned his life into a labor of love. Love, fearless love(thanks shelli), is what brought his dream(vision) into fruition.

I CHOOSE to honor his faith, fearlessness, and obedience to spirit by taking the day off(without "pay", of course. I will be volunteering the night before at the Dekalb County jail, preparing food for the MLK day celebration) My spirit beckons me to take a stand...in the name of freedom of CHOICE. I hold on to the vision that one day soon, ALL people will reclaim their freedom by creating the world in which they want to live in(for me, one in which we honor ALL our ancestors and the paths they have layed for us).

Thank you, Martin, for showing me freedom's light. Prayerfully, by allowing myself to take a stand for what holds true in me, I will allow another to find and follow the truth in them.

"Those who are led by the spirit of God are the sons and daughters of God." Romans 8:14

side note: we take time off to "honor" dead presidents. To our people, Martin Luther King, Jr, was the President! Let's give him honor.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MLK!

Peace and Love,

SahshaJay

"holla if you hear me, Yell if you don't!"

"Play another slow jam"..Where did the slow songs go?

"Play another slow jam, this time next week..."Yes, the slow song was something you looked forward to in the middle of sweating your inner water supply away, trying to outdance the next cat who was, at least in your eyes, trying to steal your shine. Ah yes, the slow song was your time to summons the lady or guy you were trying to impress with those "fresh" dance moves, or get close to the person you have been eyeing at school, or the previous weekends at the club. Eyes meet, followed by a coy smile. Typically he would softly ask, "Would you like to dance?" If he wasn't close enough, He would gesture with his eyes, that pointed in the direction of the dance floor, or even lip sync the question.

Once the connection was made, the chemistry, or lack there of begins. In any event, the slow dance was where you can get a sense of a person, decide if you all would exchange numbers, and at the very least, determine if the person had any rhythm!

As subtle as the communication in the previous scenario was painted, the slow dance or "break period" was key to getting to know one another at a social event. Often times hearing"Make it last forever" while whispering sweet honey somethings in ones' ear, was an indication of how you wanted the moment to go on..."forever". At the end of the dance, you eagerly anticipated the next musical soiree, either to dance with your Sir or Madame Charming again or to create a new"after the dance" memory.

"Where is the Love?"

Fast forward(real fast, real forward, light speed if you will) a decade and a half later...the fast dancing is still there, or shall I say the "two step", and the atmosphere is still electric(for those of you who like microwaves), but WHERE ARE THE SLOW SONGS? The innocent and discreet touches mixed with a little conversation that accompanied"Can you stand the rain?" and "Roni" have been replaced by the groping, fondling, and demands that come with "...girl you look good, wont you back that ass up!" and the promises of a "sensual seduction"...all before you know the guy or girls name!

Just as in all happy mediums in life, there is something callled balance. With the 100 degree temperatures of the Atlanta summer come the 35 degree winters of January. In between that , there is the Fall, or the "break period" in which you seek relief from the heat, enjoy the changing of seasons and brace yourself for the impending Winter.

The slow song served that same purpose...it was a welcome break. It didn't last long, but when it came, it allowed a period to get to know someone, run to the restroom to freshen up, or at bare minimum, hear the latest plea from Keith Sweat...all in preperation for when Mr. DJ says, "...all party people to the dance floor!"

Can one person be the spark to start the wildfire? YES! Can one ballad be the "Start of a Romance?" YES!...or at least a "New Edition" to a friendship circle. The next time your out at your favorite night spot, tell the DJ you want to hear "I can't help but wait" or "Falsetto". If you like it old school, request "Come and Talk to me" , "Honey Love" or "If this world were mine". Not only are you contributing to a "Slow Jam" revival, but you are creating an atmosphere for change...and change in this crazy world, is great!

"Holla if you hear me, yell if you don't!"

Peace and Truth,

SahshaJay