Halloween

I wear big sunglasses to hide the glare of sadness that can blind the sun.

I wear a big smile to hide the pains from wails that are sure to come.

I wear a positive attitude because it goes so well with the smile.

Beneath the mask of self assurance, negativity looms all the while.

I wear the hope of tomorrow because today seems all wrong and is sure to pass.

But underneath tomorrow’s hope, doubt sure does creep up fast.

I wear great patience, some have even told me I have the patience of Job.

I laugh at that because unlike Job, I question God, will you ever lighten this load?

See, every day is Halloween for me, no need to wait until the end of October.

It’s so much easier to make believe and act like my thoughts are sober.

Come one, come all to my masquerade ball as I extend an open invitation.

Just know that what you see in here is a damn good imitation of everything you thought you ever wanted in a woman.

But if you come a little closer, under the façade is a whole other woman.

But what you see on the outside can only be if the inner has life.

Behind the doubt, guilt and pain are huge flickers of light.

I truly pray that you are not confused with all the layers of me.

Day by day through God’s good grace, I grow and realize I know longer desire Halloween.

I will wear what I truly am: Love, peace and honesty and a smile that is as real as the morning sun permeates to the core of me.

If you are willing to walk with me, with a raw, untapped potential.

The mask you thought was your forever will not compare to love’s essentials.

© 2008 Before I Wake Publishing